2 AM Grief

I guess it's time to put the dog down, been a minute anyway.
Was making strangers laugh at my pain in the heyday.
Eyes veiled while Momma yelled at me for the gateway.
I'll get through these mini aneurysms everyday like "okay
Yellowstone volcano should be here anyday now."
There's nerves surging throughout lights in the town
getting lit because we're all too scared to frown
insides blacked out, my family smoke meth now
We're not people just cash cows, oil in our veins,
eradicate the pain, I really thought I was making gains.
I haven't really recovered since she passed away.
Just another reason to panic throughout the day.
I was obsessed with the secret about why we lie
turns out it was just another metaphor for life.
Their masks dance around you and you feel it
Can you just rip it off? I just wanna see it.
I can hear your words as you see through my eyeholes.
Teetering, you don't even got goals.
Fat f#ck from the 605, how you still alive?
I lived too long, maybe that's why.
We used to be concerned with nourishment
we just want death, burn it, meh.
My voice is telling me I gotta leave.
No, I'll go when I please.